As a parent who spoiled my kids and didn’t (two gens), I can assure you that your parents don’t know, either. Neither did the uncle’s parents. We are all products to some degree of the environment around us, and we’re all trying to catch up with the rate at which society fails its members. I can’t expect much more than for my kids to adapt as well as they can in a world of competitive exploitations and dumbassery.
You’re doing fine and properly skeptical as well as appreciative of the variety of the challenges.
Spoiled people don’t question their privileges. (See “old rich white men who call kids lazy”). Sometimes, having too much is as much a mental gymnastic or worse than being deprived. Being desperate to live makes life choices very clear and simple. With money or time in hand, which world or local problem does one choose to take on?
With the knowledge of the world at our fingertips, this is easy, right?