At its core, America is intoxicated on "Always Low Prices" and testosterone-fueled fanatical competicism over competing fanaticisms. Ever tried to tell a falling-down drunk how stupid they are?

"Hold my beer and watch THIS!"

"Give me your keys, Dave."

"I'll kick your ffffffffffffffffuccxkin assxxxehh (pukin and falling in it)"

"I'm an AMERICAN! Goddammit!! Let's get some munchiesh. I'll drive!"

The simplest answer is to give them some more to drink until they pass out on the concrete.

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