I put my life's list of injuries, drugs, complaints, symptoms, etc into a spreadsheet once. The chiropractor I showed it to said, "Don't ever show this to anyone".

So much for honesty.

Here's a suggestion: let's stop answering any of their questions unless it's about the problem du jour.

"How are you?"

I refuse to answer that question on grounds it might incriminate me.

"Do you think about death?"

Before or after you asked that question?

"Do you think about harming yourself?"

By accident or on purpose? Because I do a lot of dumb shit.