Sea Stories, Bullshit and Reality

2 min readMar 22, 2022

It used to be all in good fun…

Once upon a time in America, the majority of people lived their lives of quiet desperation and a few got famous for being in the right place when the cameras came on. Citizens labored in the background as pretty people with good hair made movies, smart people ran colleges, conniving people ran government and some combination of these kept us from destroying the world.

Then came Consumerism. Keep the factories going at wartime production levels forever!


Black gold.

Texas tea.

Old Jed became a millionaire on YouTube demonstrating how to put pinstripes on his crew cab truck that spell out, “Let’s Go Brandon!”. Money flowed in. Money flowed out.

The tides rolled in and they didn’t roll out.

Texas tea became a mixture of sea water and gasoline.

Earth is heading for a state of Venus-like conditions (as far as life is concerned). Data points are at the beginning of a hockey stick graph, so we fire up the freezers and have hockey all year ‘round in the mall.

Fuck it and the hipster’s Prius it rode in on.

There was a time that we had to think about the possible End of Civilization by fascists or despots with their finger on a button telling plutonium to decimate children. Cold war. Cold medicines. Advertising alcohol-free mouthwash for tender sensibilities. Snowflakes.

No more. Now, it doesn’t matter what the fuck anyone does, because the fairy tales are all true. The Marketing Witch has cast her spell over the world, and there’s no pseudo-Christian Lion-Jesus in the wardrobe to crack the table and break the spell: only more methane hydrates and melting glaciers.

Call before midnight tonight and we’ll throw in radiation and flattened cities at no extra cost!

Humanity had a story. This is no bullshit. I knew this guy once. There was a beautiful girl in a Corvette. They all died.

It could never happen. The world is too big. Just dump that over the side. Bury it in a landfill. It’s OK: we’ll line it with plastic and capture the methane and produce electricity to make some more plastic and pretend to recycle it.

Greenwashing bastards. Money-grubbing fuckers. Military-industrial complexes killing brown people for trying to grow shit…


"Anti-gravity" was taken. Reader. Fixer. Maker. He/they/it (Help confuse the algorithms).