There is always a lot of misdirection going on with our instincts. When we think that everything we do is toward pleasing the opposite sex (or life partner), we don’t know if our true instinct is to pair up or is the partner marketing/society pressure taking over an instinct that would otherwise just engage and please other people generically. I suspect that the more we think about it (partnership discourages us from questioning our deep instincts), the less confident we are about blindly reaching out. You’re not broken, just human. If our feelings and thoughts are without conflicting models or imagined models, then it isn’t really a useful process separate from any other animals. Our ability to intend as individuals is a lot harder than following or sharing with others, but it’s even harder when society profits from suppressing actual individualism while it sells the dream of independence.
Motorcycle Rally, anyone?
PS: You’ve realized you can’t tickle yourself, even if you hate being tickled.