What problem are you actually trying to solve here? Is the problem the obesity or how you feel about it? Deciding which and solving either probably requires help, and (hypocritically for me here) NOT internet help. It requires breaking down the things you are dealing with into smaller tasks to do, putting those tasks in your phone and following them. Stop trying to find what you want and first analyze what you actually do. In order to get someplace you think is better, you have to start by knowing where you are starting from right now (not the failures we’ve had in the past), and building the road or the bridge you need, and who can help you build those things and follow the rules you set up. You either do it or you don’t and then find new tasks and rules, but in the meantime, what can you be doing in small steps? Do one thing at a time; Your things, not someone else’s, then the next thing.
Just because someone has a PhD doesn’t mean they know anything. Credentials are just another way to make us feel powerless. Look again at the list of foods you are struggling to eat in that diet. A good half of them would give me a stomach ache or make me hungrier 5 min later (sugars, cereal, starches, foods with unnecessary sugars, liquid sugars and fake sugar, sour cream? Blech! We used to clean that off the bottom of the milk cooler.).
Find some real foods you like as solid food that stops you from being hungry. Eat those and stop trying to find crazy ‘variety’ in your diet (unless you want to teach your daughter to cook). Then find something else to do that isn’t eating and worrying or reading and writing about eating and worrying. That’s an obsession that requires outside help to figure out what actions need to be taken to break out of the loop.
I find that kids usually get to the heart of problems pretty fast. Ask your daughter what to do. Play. Roll around on the floor. Move stuffed animals around the house. Make food with ingredients. Good advice for everyone these days.
Do I know anything about what you have to deal with? Probably not, but I’ve had other struggles. This one is yours, not mine.
I have to find things that are not on the internet. Bye now.