You're entirely nicer than I am. I'm more along the thought of Geordi on Star Trek: send a positron pulse back up the tractor beam and make their ship explode.
...or that code thing, but make their server melt down. Microsoft does it to me all the time with 'upgrades' that aren't compatible with my 10 year old shop laptop's graphic card.
Telemarketers are only the mild version of ransomware. It's the same thing; uses the same antivirus software (just another ransom payment to the System of systems).
Whenever I find the time to add up the lost manhours and genius potential Bill Gates owes me, that guy's going bankrupt.